The Universe Is Magical

White Carnation


White Car Nation


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Give Bush His Doo


From the Associate Press:
Proposed George W. Bush Sewage Plant makes ballot

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- A measure seeking to commemorate President Bush's years in office by slapping his name on a San Francisco sewage plant has qualified for the November ballot.

The measure certified Thursday would rename the Oceanside Water Pollution Control Plant the George W. Bush Sewage Plant.

Supporters say the idea is to commemorate the mess they claim Bush has left behind by actions such as the war in Iraq.

Local Republicans say the plan stinks and they will oppose it.

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McCain: He'll Bite Your F&%@in' Head Off!


The PRN (presumptive Republican nominee), John "Knuckles" McCain, can take on foreign dignitaries the only way they understand, with fists of fury. I may vote for him just to see the international smack-downs that would ensue. Where Bush's strategy was based on the principle of "Bring Em On", McCain's motto will be "You Lookin' At Me?"


John Zorn doing Ennio Morricone's The Ballad of Hank McCain

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Time Is Evil

Why is midnight, the moment between yesterday and today, represented as 12:00? This implies that it is the end of yesterday, rather than the beginning of today. I can live with that. However, what really irks me is that 12:30 am is earlier than 11:30 am. This really pisses me off. I'm certain now that the people who devised our system for tracking time are the most evil people who ever lived. This is far worse than calling the year 2000 the beginning of the 21st century. We must stand up, together as the people of the earth, and demand that this be fixed.

Actually, if we all just adopted the 24-hour clock, 12:30 am would be 00:30 am. This makes me feel better. Whew!

Thanks for listening.


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Mommy. What Does "Pity the Fool" Mean?



Doesn't your child want to cuddle up with a Mr. T Doll? I know I do!

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Tube To Work Day 2008

These guys froze their tubes off. Why didn't we think of this? Oh yeah. We're partially sane.

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Hassan Chop!

Around two or three weeks ago, our darling six year old daughter (you know her as Agent 11) started karate chopping everyone in the family while yelling "Hassan Chop!" She claimed to have heard this from one of her friends in kindergarten. While this phrase sounded vaguely familiar and marginally funny, we wondered many times about its etymology. Tonight, after having my right arm mashed to a pulp, I decided to get to the bottom of this unholy development. A quick Google search turned up a reference to a Bugs Bunny cartoon I probably saw 200 times when I was a kid. Also, an entry in the Urban Dictionary revealed even more meaning. Of course, now 99 and I use it all the time, as in "if gas prices go up again... Hassan Chop!", or "the cat peed on the carpet again?! Hassan Chop!" Try it. It comes in very handy!



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Chimps With Hockey Sticks


To mis-quote a great politician, "there is nothing wrong with us that can't be fixed by a chimp with a hockey stick"

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Asian Pop Freaks Us Out

I'm convinced that the boat full of pop music bound from the US toward Southeast Asia got lost at sea for 20 years. Hoards of culture hungry Thai teens, armed with synthesizers and bad hair, are trying their damnedest to recreate the crap we hated in the 80's. Videos like this have caused the occasional wake-up-sweating-and-screaming episode.


We especially like the strange non-sequitor exercise theme.

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Celebrity Staring Contest

Who would win in a match-up between Barbara Streisand and His Holiness, the Dalai Lama?
Who would blink first?

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